Tulsa to Syracuse...Our Trip...Part 1

Monday, June 13th, 2011....The caravan left.  The caravan included Brett driving a 26 ft Uhaul truck {totally full}, my dad (Mark) driving my Tahoe with an additional trailer {totally full}, my mom (Pam) driving her car (full of all our breakable wedding gifts), and the caboose, myself driving Bretts Malibu with our awesome dog, Bewlay, a 75.8 lb German Shepherd, and totally full front passenger seat.  Needless to say, this caravan was loaded down.  The fact that if any one opened a rear door or heaven forbid a back trunk, half of the things we owned would be in a McDonald's parking lot.  We started about 3 hours behind what we originally planned, but as far as I'm concerned, we were right on schedule.  There were many friends and family helping to cram a broom or a basket into windows and rear doors as we drove away from the first home I had ever owned.  The tears started to flow.  It was Bewlay and myself and no one else.  I cried and cried and cried.  Leaving behind friends, parents, family that are like friends, friends that are like family, and everything that raised me.  The city, the parks, the homes, the grandparents that are getting older and more feeble everyday that passes.  I cried more and then I stopped.  I was so exhausted from the last 3 months of our lives that I didn't have the energy to shed one more tear.
The truth is that Brett had worked his entire life for this moment.  And  I was more upset than I could even describe.  I was supposed to be totally happy, utterly delighted, over the moon, instead I couldn't imagine anything worse.  Who was I? Was I totally heartless or just kind of?  Was I really I love with him?  I started to question everything I had been and wanted to be....